Stories and ramblings from your friendly neighbourhood emo and pop culture junkie.
Not really blogged in a while guys. I’d love to tell you there was some deep and meaningful reason for this,however the real reason is much more simple; I abused my laptop into submission. Countless temper tantrums,moments of rage and frustrating lash outs resulted in death for Miss Packard bell. The other appliances in the house warned her of my violent nature. The vacuum said i had sucked the life right out of her.The microwave said i kept her cooked up inside. But at the end of the day the washing machine had the last say, on her short, yet help full life. That’s right. My behaviour ‘spun’ out of control (chuckle chuckle snortle snortle) and i placed the final nail in an already abused coffin – I poured beer all over her. Her last days we’re spent catering to my every need. In fact she did so in such a manner that after half an hour of mindless surfing,she would collapse and breakdown leaving me only blank and vacant stares. Since the sad loss of Miss Packard Bell i have been whoring my time out to Josh’s laptop when he isn’t in. Blogs seem to come to me when i least expect it. And unfortunately timing hasn’t worked in my favour. Therefore my writing time has been limited to passing thoughts and drunken ramblings in my head. I do recall saying in my last blog that i would attempt writing a book. This dream hasn’t faded. However in order for me to succeed i would need to set aside some serious time and treat it as a chore in order to gain any ground. I seem to have accustomed writing,with a keyboard as opposed to a pen and paper,therefore if i wanted to succeed i would need to take that avenue,instead of scribbling drafts and notes. A clear mind and a laptop (preferably not connected to the Internet) is what i need. But unfortunately i tick neither boxes at this present time. Watch this space folks. This may change in the future.
I had a few thoughts ready to go for this entry but they have escaped me. One thing that has stuck out though, is the ever impending doom of leaving the shores of Australia for good. Now i am excited to get home. I wouldn’t go as far as saying im exstatic about it, but i am ready.
Before i left i set out in my head what i wanted to achieve by leaving. And to break it down into easy,digestible chunks it was ;- To sort my head out,grow up,and take a grip of my life and lead into a controlled direction. Have i achieved that? Well yes. Nothing major has happened in the grand scheme of things. Im not becoming the first guy to step foot on Mars or created a cure for cancer but i have really shaken myself up a bit. Iv’e lived in people’s pockets,lived in my own and made friends with people, i wouldn’t of had the time for back home. I have calmed down immensly and gained a control over myelf i felt i had lost before i left.I have become very proud of the person i have become. I realise that sounds incredibley self indulgant but i see no problem in taking pride with change. People are stubborn. People are set in their ways. It takes alot to change a person. And even more so for a person to change themselves. I believe that if either or is achieved – then it is an achievment in itself.
I have three weeks left in Australia,then i will be hitting the shores of Thailand for two months,on the way back home. I don’t regret anything i’ve done. Iv’e came to believe that everything happens for a reason. However i do regret that i will not get to spend more time with the people i’ve met. I could not of asked for better friends in Brisbane.Iv’e known them all less than a year but they have left a lasting impression on me. These guys don’t, but will know,how much i have appreciated them and how sad i am to leave them. I coudn’t of asked, to stumble across a better group of lads and i want to thank them for everything they have done for me.
From here i am not lost. I have plans. But of course – nothing is set. A lot can happen in the next couple of years. But the bottom line is,it will all be about the hospiltality grind,and saving as much cash as possible to piss off for another period of extended time. Too much good has come from leaving. I can’t possibly justify not leaving again. Where however? – is in the air just now.
Christmas time is upon us already and i guess its time to be merry and all that bullocks. To be honest folks,being away from home for it doesn’t bother me that much. I know it will bother my family,which is understandble but for me (a 23,soon to be 24 year old guy) it’s not a big deal. As long as everyone’s in good health it’s all fine. I don’t know who i will be spending mine with yet. But rest assured. I will be drunk,i will be fine and it will be fun. No stress. The way christmas should be….
There has been one major issue as of late,which is my sleep pattern. I have always been one for random shit during the night i.e – Sleep walking/talking,night terrors,nightmares,hallucinating etc. It comes and goes. Lately it has gotten worse. From people to spiders i have seen it all in my dosy state,and to my annoyance,kept me up most of the night. There’s alot of factors that can mold how my sleep goes. Heat and alcohol seem to be the main two. However it has came to my attention that restlessness can account for that too. Anything on my mind,good or bad;for example – knowing im leaving soon,plays apart in my night also.
I’ve done it all the past. From talking to imaginary people in my room to sleep walking through corridors. But lately it seems to be kicking up again. So much so that i can’t remember the last time i had a good nights sleep.
When i have a girlfriend or at least sleeping next to someone these things seem to go away. Also and understandbly so,when i am paraletic i am completly dead to the world. No shock there.
It’s becoming a concern for me. So much so im thinking of getting it looked into when i get back.Have i taken drugs? Not madly( Although it’s no secret i was a massive stoner for years). Do i drink too much? Perhaps. But does that equate to this bizarre behavour? Im not sure. I’ll keep you posted on that also.
So folks i guess i will wind this one down. Only 10 or so weeks untill i crash land on the shore of the UK again. So you will be seeing me pretty soon. I am looking forward to it. A bit tentative about it,but definatly looking forward.
Take it easy folks.